“There are many kinds of power, used and unused, acknowledged or otherwise. The erotic is a resource within each of us that lies in a deeply female and spiritual plane, firmly rooted in the power of our unexpressed or unrecognised feeling,” writes Audre Lorde in her infamous 1978 lecture-turned-essay, “The Uses of the Erotic”. Dazed editorial intern Kara Shanahan was first introduced to Lorde’s essay by writer and founder of sex shop The Sensual World, Lucy Kumara Moore, while she was researching the connection between erotic literature and high-achieving women. “I’ve been obsessed with the essay for the past year,” Shanahan tells Dazed. “It’s become incredibly relevant to my work and speaks to the state of the world right now.” In “The Uses of the Erotic”, Lorde challenges readers to think about eroticism beyond sexuality and, instead, as a divine power that exists within all of us.

“We sort of live in this pornographic world these days, with the influence of technology and AI. It is impacting our sense of self, our embodiment, and our connection to our senses,” Shanahan says. With all this in mind, she decided to host a panel with Kumara Moore, Nigerian-British poet and curator Phoenix Yemi, and South London-based artist and director Aarony Bailey, using Lorde’s essay to explore eroticism today as a source of power rather than something to fear. Below, we share our top five insights from the panel.

PLEASURE IS NOT FRIVOLOUS 

When asked about their initial thoughts when first interacting with Lorde’s essay, Bailey noted that reading it made them feel affirmed in themselves and in how they move through the world. It also made them reflect on a past relationship they had with a man, where he criticised her for being hedonistic: “I don’t think it is a massively insulting observation, but the way he said it was so derogatory. I remember feeling so self-conscious about that, but I came to the realisation that I’m exploring pleasure in a way that he didn’t understand – or more accurately, in a way that he didn’t think women should. And not just sexually, but the way it moves through my life. He couldn’t comprehend how someone could do that. He couldn’t understand how I could be hedonistic and excel in other areas, but for me, those parts of myself have to work together. I need to be able to deeply feel things to excel in other areas.”

THE INTERNET CAN BE A SPACE OF (EROTIC) GOOD 

The internet has become the site of sexual anxiety for a lot of women, particularly due to the rise of deepfakes, but Yemi argues that it wasn’t always that way. The internet was also once – and in some regards still is – a haven to learn about sexuality and gender. “I grew up in the church, so technology and the internet have helped open my eyes to the fact that I was allowed to feel pleasure. Being in the church was so much about self-sacrifices and thinking about other people’s needs and wants, but when I went on the internet, I’d search up all the questions I had about sex on Reddit. I got to focus on my needs and concerns, and I got to read about other people’s vulnerabilities. It really helped me and allowed me to feel connected to others.”

EROTICISM CAN BE AN ACT OF RESISTANCE  

In her essay, Lorde writes about eroticism and knowledge – specifically how women have “come to distrust the power that rises from our deepest and non-rational knowledge”. Phoenix contends that trust in one’s own self-knowledge is a type of resistance. “A lot of being a woman is being conditioned to care for others and to be self-sacrificing. I turned to poetry when I was having a mental health crisis, and it was the one thing I found that grounded me. It was the first time I chose to do something for myself rather than for my career, the future or for my parents. For me, that has been the erotic as an act of resistance because it’s about feeling good, and in the essay, Lorde talks about the fact that we are raised to fear the yes within ourselves. If I’m saying yes, it’s coming from a place of agency. I just think it’s about taking responsibility for yourself and your actions.”  

INTER-GENERATIONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT 

Kumara Moore was inspired to start her sex shop after being gifted Sister Outsider, the book where “The Uses of the Erotic” appears, by an older woman whom she sees as a guide. “She is the most excellent in her field. I’ve been lucky enough to see her as a friend. The book sat on my shelf for a long time until I decided to start my sex shop. When I read it, it was almost like reading a very intelligent articulation of what was already in my head. It also brought a lot to me that I just hadn’t thought of either. So I’m really grateful to her for introducing it to me.” 

TREAT YOURSELF WITH RESPECT

When asked how to infuse authenticity and the erotic into your own practice, Yemi reiterates how essential it is to try to truly know yourself. “It’s important to know what you like and don’t like. What makes you tick and what doesn’t. When you know these things, you don’t just let someone randomly enter your space or your practice. I have this line in one of my poems that goes ‘How you want me, you’ll never have me’. I love that line because it marks a boundary. It’s all about treating yourself with respect. You are precious.”